The Perils of Work and Haiku

Expecting a snowstorm I wanted to compose a little haiku to send to my co-workers (adorable!) informing them that I would be working from home the next day. This is where I encountered a problem. Haiku should be freeform and off the cuff (raw you know?) which is pretty much antithetical to standard corporate communication protocols - hence; conundrum.

I first wrote:

Anticipating
snow. I will work from home. 
I will be naked.

But upon reflection I realized that really wouldn't fly. See, they drill it into your head that if you aren't sure you should say something in an email, you should imagine saying it to your grandma. How would she react? For me grandmas and nudity go together about as well as jellyfish and staple guns. Not to mention the chances are high that some idiot (Angela) would complain to HR about it and we'd have to go through all that stupid, stupid stuff again.

So I changed it to:

Anticipating
snow. I will work from home. 
In my underwear.

But my inner Grandma just cried out "Nope!" and I was left with nothing. Everything I tried to write just sounded contrite at first, then scary (chainsaws), and ultimately just kind of bland.

I finally ended up sending the following:

Anticipating
snow. I will work from home. 
VPNWIFI.

Spitting out the last 5 syllables quickly, in a hurry to be done with the thing.

Not sad. Just different I guess.