Click

"Yeah, so basically I can't get any women to write back." Sad face.

"Ok, that should be no problem. Let's take a look at the last few emails you've sent. I'll open this first one."

Click.

"Let's see. It says, and I quote 'I trust the baby Jesus was somehow involved'. Nothing else - I don't get it." Baffled.

"Well see, in her description it said that she was working at a restaurant full time, and that she was a full time manger - see she misspelled manager -"

"I get it."

"So I thought that would be kind of funny..." Hmmm "To uh, you know..."

"Yes I see. Look, she's only 19! You're in your 40's!"

"Yeah..."

Click.

"And it says that she only wants to meet men no older than 23 - so basically you are just going around being mean to little girls?"

"Well..."

"Who can't spell. Is that right?"

"I think you picked kind of a bad example. What's that next one down?"

"The one to FairMerLady36?"

"Yeah, that's a good one I think."

Click

"Ok, I'm looking at this - sir, this message is 6 paragraphs long."

"That's bad?" Silence. 2 beats.

"I don't think we can help you today Mr. Feng. Goodbye."

Click.